The 'Yes Policy'

A couple years ago I decided that every time a guy asked me out on a date I would say yes. It started when I read some articles from a University paper in which the the writer was encouraging more guys to ask girls, and from which I want to re-iterate to all the guys: ASK MORE GIRLS OUT!

Sometimes I’m utterly shocked, when my girl friends tell me they haven’t been asked out in months, or even years. As a women, I appreciate that in the case of initiating dates, men most often bear the brunt of this burden, and while I’m sure there are a variety of reasons they aren’t asking, the most obvious must be the fear of rejection. So I decided to do my part and ease those fears, by saying yes. It’s not that I was being asked out a lot anyway, but I do think that simply by being willing to give someone a shot, I got more dates.

Now, I must admit, it wasn’t a blanket yes policy. There were instances where I felt that saying 'no' was the most respectful and kind thing for both of us. I didn’t want to be the girl that took advantage of a guy for a free meal, or lead him on to believe that I was interested when there was “no way.” (It’s pretty obvious when someone is a “no way.") One such instance was at a gas station, where a guy leaning up against his truck called me “baby,” and asked if I’d like to meet him at the mall sometime. Not saying that the right girl wouldn’t have appreciated his courage in asking a total stranger, but that’s just not me, so I thanked him and said ‘no’ with the sweetest smile I could muster.

It just so happens that one year ago today I said ‘yes’ to a blind date with some guy that my pastor had been trying to set me up with for years. We met at Borders after I got off work and had a relatively standard dinner date. He was nice. Very “mature” I recall, but unfortunately he lived in California, and we all know long distance relationships are a total waste of time!

Really, the whole point of the yes policy was about keeping my mind open to possibilities that I might not be able to imagine. I really do believe that God can orchestrate romance way better than Hollywood. I didn’t want to write the right person off the list for the wrong reason. Several “possibilities” later and that guy from California turned out to be the one who fulfilled and then far exceeded my imagination of how love is meant to be.

*My humble apologies if this advice sounds like another annoying person who thinks that because they found someone they have it all figured out. The truth is, I had it all figured out before the guy. hehe. ;)

5 Things I learned about dating:

1. Admitting it is always the first step. If you want to find someone, start by admitting it to yourself, then your friends. Wanting to be with someone is healthy and normal.

2. Men: Flowers really are THAT important. Women: Food really is THAT important.

3. Break up once. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can be “friends” afterwords. Don’t call or email. Just end it.

4. Never settle. Its better to be single for the rest of your life than settle. Even worse is being the person someone settled for.

5. Waiting to say “I love you” is overrated. Love is a growing thing, and it will not mean the same thing it did the first time as it will the hundredth or thousandth time.. When you love someone, say it.

Horseback Riding Alongside the Pyramids of Giza

On Saturday I was invited to join some of my Egyptian colleagues, Amira and Rania, on a Horseback riding trip in Giza. Giza is on the outskirts of Cairo and it is where you’ll find the most well known pyramids of Egypt.

Amira is an experienced rider and also invited a couple of her fellow experienced riding friends: Achmed and Kareem. Chinwe is my American colleague who had to catch a flight out that evening. She wasn’t quite sure about joining us, but for those of you that know me, you know that I love to manipulate people in to joining group activities by whatever means necessary. I chose the trash talk method, which for those of you that know me know: its just talk. I started bragging to Chinwe about how I was this great rider and since she’s older than me she’d probably lose the race. I know, I’m terrible…but it worked.

The truth is that I took some English saddle lessons for a few months when I was a kid but I’m waaay over-confident. When we arrived in Giza I told our horse guide to give me the fastest horse he had. “Give me the Mercedes of all your horses,” I said, and his name was “Cowboy.”

I quickly realized that English saddle is rarely used for practical riding purposes and “Cowboy” most certainly had not been trained for the likes of my “sophisticated” style. However, Cowboy WAS trained!

All the horses were trained to ignore their rider and only listen to the trainer. This makes total sense, since most of the riders are inexperienced foreigners who could very easily give the wrong signal and wind up in a dangerous situation.

We were accompanied by three guides and unbeknownst to myself we were divided into 2 groups: the “Experienced” and the “Joy Riders.” We calmly rode through the streets and into a small village with narrow dirt lanes and apartment buildings on either side. Colorful laundry hung on lines out the windows along with signs offering the passerby a variety of methods of touring via horses, camels, or chariot. It was an odd mix of commercial and residential as children played and women tended to their household casually acknowledging the caravan passing by. I had to tease Chinwe when one of her guides, a boy about 8 years old, trotted down the street holding her reigns.

The scenery began to thin and then the hooves hit the sand. I was anxious to run. But at this point I still foolishly thought I was in control. ‘Snap!’ ‘Snap!’ the guide cracked his whip and the four of us were off on a gallop leaving Chinwe and the Joy Riders in the dust.

On one hand, it was absolutely exhilarating to be galloping along with a group of people as if I really knew what I was doing, but then on the other I remembered that I didn’t. I quickly realized that I had ‘no’ control over the speed at which the horse moved which explained why my earlier attempts to “giddy-up” had produced nothing more than a skip. My riding plan developed in 3 stages. 1.) Try not to look inexperienced 2.) Ok, just DON’T fall off! 3.) OMG! Live! Must….Live!

The stirrups were too long and at one point both my feet were out completely as Cowboy was running at top speed. I clenched as tightly as I could to stay on and focused on the only thing I had any control over which was steering.

Something else you should know is that in the pictures, those sand dunes look so smooth and silky soft. However, in real life its more like chunky peanut butter…EXTRA chunky. The chunks being rocks. Hard rocks.

We made it to the top of one of the dunes where there was a small shack and blocks stacked to make a fence like enclosure. It wasn’t much but apparently it was our stopping point as everyone demounted. I was trying not to let on how incredibly difficult that was for me but I was grateful to get off the horse even though I wasn’t too steady on my feet. It was hot and I was exhausted and sore already. From somewhere inside the shack they produced cold drinks but what I really needed was some “junk in my trunk.”

Fifteen minutes later the Joy Riders moseyed their way to the top. It really was an incredible view. Surrounded by rocky dunes, topped with a blue sky and THE pyramids.

Much to my surprise Amira translated that the guide was very impressed with my riding. I think he was just impressed that I didn’t fall off, as was I! I hinted as much as my pride would allow that we should take it easy on the way back, and I tried to join the Joy Riders but Cowboy was clearly programmed for my guide because just the sound of the whip sent him and the rest of us off in a rumble.

The good news is I made it back safely with a wonderful memory as well as incredibly sore inner thighs.

How to overcome Jetlag!

Yay! I made it to Cairo. Its Sunday and the first day of the work week here. I got a full nights sleep last night and I'm ready for the rest of the week. Sleep is very important to me. Even through my college years I rarely got less than 8 hours of sleep a night. And when I’m sleepy there’s no arguing with my alter ego, “Jezebel,” who on a daily basis tricks me into hitting the snooze or succumbing to 10 - 12 hours of sleep. (She’s very manipulative ya’ know)

Jetlag can be the worst, but over the last few years of my traveling experiences I’ve discovered a few ways I can avoid jetlag almost entirely. Half the battle is all in your head, so here are 5 tips on how to overcome Jetlag:

1.) The night before you travel stay up as late as possible. The idea is to mess up and confuse your sleep schedule and so you'll be ready for number...
2.) Sleep on the plane. For one it makes the trip go faster, plus you'll already be exhausted from staying up the night before. If sleeping upright is uncomfortable for you, as it is for most people, Dr. Brittnie suggests taking Tylenol PM with Melatonin (a natural relaxer) and you'll be sleeping with you're mouth open before the plane takes off.
3.) Do not keep track of the time while you're traveling. Try not to think about whether you would typically be awake or asleep at that time. The key is to confuse your body enough so that it will follow the light/dark schedule of wherever you're going.
4.) Once you arrive start tracking the time so that you can tell your confused self whether you're tired or not.
5.) The first couple of days are key so depending on the time of day you arrive here’s what to do:
LATE MORNING/EARLY AFTERNOON: Take a nap. Keep the windows open and lights on if necessary so your body know this is a JUST a nap.
EVENING: This is usually the most difficult time of day for jetlag so make sure you plan evening activities away from the bed. Shopping, museums, dinner, anything to keep yourself moving and distracted from sleep.
BEDTIME: Take another Tylenol PM and get in to bed even if you don’t feel sleepy.