It's very hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that in one moment LIFE is the center of your world, and the next death can take someone away so completely. It takes nearly 24 hours of flying, driving, and layovers for me to arrive in India, about as far away as I can go without coming back, but in an instant some one can leave this earth and be the farthest away.
Yesterday the older lady I've been living with, Mrs. Osborn, fell and hit her head. This caused an aneurism in her brain and a few hours later she passed away. Just a few moments before she fell she had been downstairs in my room talking to me about the major water main break on New Hampshire. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me that she would be out running some errands in the afternoon. A few minutes later I went upstairs for breakfast and found that she had fallen.
When I was seven my parents moved away from Florida, and all my family that lives there, to Pennsylvania. Ever since I haven't lived close to any family, so living with Mrs. Osborn was like having a grandmother for the first time. While I've only known Mrs. Osborn for the past three and a half months, I've cried more than when my own grandmother passed away. I miss her, and the thought of going home now without her there sitting at the table watching TV, or telling me stories about her travels, is just awful.
Last night my mom came and stayed with me so that I wouldn't be alone, and we talked about how fortunate Mrs. Osborn was to go the way she did. For one she died old, which is on my to do list. If you knew her you'd know how independent she was. Although I offered regularly to help out with things around the house she would only let me vacuum. She died with in a few hours, quickly, and relatively painlessly. She died still living in her own home and with her precious independence.
While it is hard to have to adjust to this sudden loss I think that old saying nicely sums up my feelings on the subject: "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." If you're missing someone, be thankful that you had someone to miss.
P.S. Sorry readers for the last couple of not-so-happy-blogs. However, I suspect some good news could be just around the corner. :0)
