CONFESSION: Now available Online!

Ok, well…I might as well just say it: a few weeks ago I joined eHarmony. Yep, I did it. What does it mean? Well, it depends on who's listening.

I've gotten several reactions from people such as "You're too young!" "Wow, you're desperate," to my personal favorite: "You must be the hottest person on there," (lol) to "yeah, I've tried that, and even know a few couples that got married after meeting on eHarmony."

That last one was the most surprising to me. "You mean it actually works?" I guess I'm not really expecting anything to happen. The main reason I decided to join was to put my mind at ease that I'm at least making an effort.

Being out of college and working a full time job has been a real adjustment, and weekends seem like my chance to catch up. I've realized that I no longer have the time or opportunities to meet new people that being in school provided, so now I would have to make an effort. Ugh.

So I decided to join eHarmony with some encouragement from the only friend to whom I dared admit I was considering the option. It really wasn't an easy decision. I think what I dislike the most about the idea of online dating is the inevitable question: "How did you meet?" followed by the-very-unromantic-sounding answer: "We met online." Eeeek.

However, I've realized that online dating has changed a lot over the years. It isn't just a surface hook up with some random person. It's not a chat room full of a bunch of desperate, unattractive introverts. Hello! I'm on there…haha

I guess the reason I had to blog about this was because it's been hard admitting this to friends because of all the stigmas related to the subject. So this is me just putting it all out there in the hope of changing you're mind.

Of course meeting and dating someone you met online is no substitute for those in-person interactions but it's also no surprise that in the web-based world we live in today it's easy to meet and establish meaningful relationships because of a cyber space contact…in fact if you're reading this, you're getting to know me a little better, right?

I'M ON EHARMONY! ARE YOU?

(Whew! I'm glad that's over with...)

--END--

Have I Told You Lately?

Twice in the last month I've read the account of Jesus Baptism, and both times I was struck by something:

In Mark 1 verse 10 its says that Heaven was "torn" open.

That word torn is such a dramatic word, and no doubt the scene itself must have been very dramatic. Can you imagine?

There you are standing along the banks of an ordinary river watching John baptize someone again in an ordinary way when the sky itself gets ripped open!

My mind can imagine all sorts of things when I wonder what the guts of a blue sky look like. In any case those painted pictures from church of clouds and sunbeams coming down just don't seem to do the scene justice…

However what really struck me most about this scene wasn't the drama in the sky but the voice amidst the drama. The voice of God. It did not command Jesus to go out and share the gospel! Or tell him to preach on repentance.

Instead God came down on Jesus in all His glory and might to gently tell him the three most important words ever spoken: I love you.

"You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."

And that was it.

I'm struck by this because so many times I have been amid some of my own drama from which I've cried out to God and I've gotten the very same response.

Brittnie…I love you.

And at first my response is yeah, yeah, yeah. Your God. You love everyone…but what about a solution to my problem? What are you going to do? When are you going to help me? Will things ever change? God I need you now!

Brittnie…I love you.

I'm not sure how many times he says it before I actually hear it…I supposes its however many times it takes…because when I hear him say my name, and say those words, there is a peace that washes over and calms my heart.

Mark 1 verse 10 goes on to say that when Jesus looked up he also saw the Spirit descending on him like a dove.

Peace.

Do you believe that God would rip the skies open just to tell YOU he loves you? Because He has, and He is. When will you listen?

Hot Earth? Hot Topic. Lets Talk.

Hey there my faithful readers, (Hey there my faithful readers, readers, readers)
Hello? (Hello, ello, ello?)

Okay for those of you who are turned off by the subject of Global Warming don't completely ignore this blog. Here is a link to a buzzin' article from Wired Magazine, and the title itself is tantalizing. Read it. At least part of it.

ATTENTION ENVIRONMENTALISTS: Keep Your SUV. Forget Organics. Go Nuclear. Screw the Spotted Owl.

Big changes can happen in small circles. So it would be great to have a discussion: lets ask questions, lets disagree!


*Photo copied from Wired Magazine web page.

SEX, Kites, Cake, and Sugar (Part 1)

CAKE AND SUGAR
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about sex. Maybe its those ever raging hormones of my youth but also I've been reading Rob Bell's book SEXGOD.

Why is it that the very title seems to give us a jolt, as if we're all asking, "What does sex and God have to do with each other?"

God and Sex.

This question of what God has to do with sex is real in spite of the obvious answer of "he created it." A valid point, but hardly obvious, especially when we look at sex today. Today sex has been diminished down to a spoonful of raw sugar.

Imagine a world renowned chef stands before you and describes the cake he's about bake. He tells you about each of the freshest ingredients that he's gathered from around the world to bake into a delicious gourmet cake. Then he makes you an offer; you can either have a bite of raw sugar now, or a bite of this award winning cake later.

Now, or later?

Sex, the kind of sex that God intended is meant to be like this cake.
When sex is diminished down to a spoonful of sugar its no wonder people say "its no big deal." But it is a big deal. It is because everywhere we go we're surrounded by opportunities to consume sex.

Sex isn't just the act of intercourse; this is why Jesus said that just looking at another woman is committing adultery. Because sex is looking. Sex is seeing the curves of a woman's body and the muscles of a man's. Sex is foreplay, it is skin, and warmth. Sex is the first touch, and sex is the ultimate connection.

And this is why Sex Sells. Because EVERYONE wants to feel connected. So the car companies put a woman in a bikini next to the car and someone looks. They look and subconsciously the car = sex = connection. Clothing and perfume companies show women laughing and feeling beautiful, because beauty = love = connection.

For better or worse our lives are centered around connection. We feel connected when we go to church and people relate to one another about certain beliefs. We feel connected when our boss, supervisor, or professor tells us what a good job we're doing. We feel connected when we tell a joke and people laugh. We feel connected when we are deeply accepted by another person.

Connection.

The ultimate connection isn't just sex. It is sex and God. If he is the initiator of the ultimate connection, then he must be the master component of ultimate sex! Because only God will ever accept us so deeply. Only He desires us so entirely in all our imperfections that in turn makes us feel connected.

Without God the sex picture is incomplete. Its like baking a cake without the flour.
Everybody's looking for the cake but often we settle for a spoonful of sugar.

Remember our imaginary chef. His offer was for a bite of the cake, just a bite. This is also a parallel for sex because (even within the bounds of marriage), sex requires self-control and boundaries. Self-control is the constant tension we feel when we apply wisdom to a situation, and without wisdom sex is like a kite without a string.

Keep an eye out for "Sex, Kites, Cake and Sugar Part II" where I'll explore the idea that sex within the bounds of self-control and wisdom yields better sex!

I'd love to hear your two cents! Comments and criticisms are welcome.

“I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy”

-Nichole Nordeman, Legacy

It’s a common question: what would you take with you if your house was burning? A common question with a variety of answers, usually spurred by some sort of emotional attachment: “I’d take my grandmothers shawl,” “or my wedding dress,” “my baseball collection...”

But for me, and for little or no sentimental reasons, it would be my computer.
My computer holds a lot of my class work, personal journals, and lots of pictures, not to mention the hardware itself cost me nearly four grand. Everything else in my life is replaceable, everything else can burn.
The practicality of my answer lends no room for an interesting story, however it’s not that I don’t have interesting or valuable items in my room, because I do. Throughout my travels and experiences I am a collector of silly sentimental things. I have shoeboxes full of ticket stubs, handwritten notes, rocks and dirt even. I have a Murano glass bowl from Italy, a Pashmina shawl from India, and a blue license plate from Panama, all of which I consider valuable and irreplaceable, but they are still just things.
So please excuse me for a moment while I climb onto my soapbox. I am annoyed by people who fuss when someone breaks something apparently considered valuable to them. It can be as worthless as an old pencil, or as valuable as an ancient artifact, and I still don’t think it’s worth fussing about.
I don’t mean to say that it’s not worth collecting or taking an interest in old things, or anything. What I am saying, and from what I’ve observed and even struggled with personally, is that it’s not worth letting our things become more important than our people.
The older lady I lived with passed away a month ago, and now every Sunday her family comes over to sort through her things. So many things! Little things, papers things, boxes, magazines, calendars, rolls of wrapping paper that while she was alive she could not let go of. Perhaps she believed that if those things were given away, thrown away, or even stolen, that a piece of herself would be gone with it? But now she is gone, and all these things sit in the rain on the curb waiting for a stranger to take them away. Many of these things aren’t even meaningful to the people who loved her most. And that’s just it: they loved her, not her stuff, and to them with or without it she was still their mother, or grandmother, or friend.
I suppose one of the reasons I’ve turned into a “stuff hater” is because of my own inability to keep track of my things. Unfortunately my whole life I’ve been losing pairs of glasses, breaking cameras, and I even had computer stolen. It’s a frustrating character trait to have, and its certainly contributed to my lack of attachment to things. But the big lesson I’ve learned each time is how life still goes on with out that stuff.
I’m reminded every time that my real treasures are not in this world, and the only thing I’ll be taking to Heaven are my friends. But if I could strike a deal with God, I think I’d ask Him to bring my computer.

"Its better to have loved and lost..."

It's very hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that in one moment LIFE is the center of your world, and the next death can take someone away so completely. It takes nearly 24 hours of flying, driving, and layovers for me to arrive in India, about as far away as I can go without coming back, but in an instant some one can leave this earth and be the farthest away.

Yesterday the older lady I've been living with, Mrs. Osborn, fell and hit her head. This caused an aneurism in her brain and a few hours later she passed away. Just a few moments before she fell she had been downstairs in my room talking to me about the major water main break on New Hampshire. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me that she would be out running some errands in the afternoon. A few minutes later I went upstairs for breakfast and found that she had fallen.

When I was seven my parents moved away from Florida, and all my family that lives there, to Pennsylvania. Ever since I haven't lived close to any family, so living with Mrs. Osborn was like having a grandmother for the first time. While I've only known Mrs. Osborn for the past three and a half months, I've cried more than when my own grandmother passed away. I miss her, and the thought of going home now without her there sitting at the table watching TV, or telling me stories about her travels, is just awful.

Last night my mom came and stayed with me so that I wouldn't be alone, and we talked about how fortunate Mrs. Osborn was to go the way she did. For one she died old, which is on my to do list. If you knew her you'd know how independent she was. Although I offered regularly to help out with things around the house she would only let me vacuum. She died with in a few hours, quickly, and relatively painlessly. She died still living in her own home and with her precious independence.

While it is hard to have to adjust to this sudden loss I think that old saying nicely sums up my feelings on the subject: "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." If you're missing someone, be thankful that you had someone to miss.

P.S. Sorry readers for the last couple of not-so-happy-blogs. However, I suspect some good news could be just around the corner. :0)